No person needs to justify their existence or choices to another person or really needs to care what other people think of them.
The meaning of this best benefits from
a big space to breathe and expand;
it is quite deep in its influence, impact, and ability to shift perspectives
as well as perception itself...
- - -
In phases where conservation is highlighted people tend to exist in context that
feels oppressive like a judging presence has manifested or a far off fear has emerged
somewhere out there that is expected or assumed to not abate or turn down its sizzling quality.
TThis force continues existing and we may continue to be aware of it going through various states but mostly we may ouselves getting a bit annoyed that you either know what it is or you don't & in either sense there is still no better way to respond then to just ignore it.
There can be a kind of defiant childishness present when these scenarios exist, a:
'I don't like that and its not going away so I should do something about it [assertiveness]
but I can't do anything to resolve it directly
thus I have to be less external be more hands off
and pay attention to other things that are actually relevant to my heart and my relationship to my life and godsource'
This can seem like godsource has made you an actor in a play for reasons you could care less about.
Yet, no one is telling you take this on board nor to frame the experience with the particular expression you have.
- - -
There is a sort of general balancing that goes on, probably best labeled self-soothing
that then folds into a better relationship or a reintegration attempt with the new sense of feeling
regardless of success a more internalized depth has occurred.
A slow rebuilding of the connections that already exist and can be attended to
this is a kindness to the mental body so that I am not serving to feed a source of fear or darkness
it does feel small, humble, and beautiful and is usually enjoyable
but the question has to emerge
are you just constructing this? What if you instead just went about things in spite of the thing you are calling new or even foreign to your self?
Altogether these processes tend to create irritation or are upsetting
because the precious balance that existed to your life has been disjointed
& your response is probably to try to repair or fix the issues that are believed to be the problem
when you probably know full well that these practices
are not ever going to replace or circumvent the fact that your own feelings have to be felt
and you have deal with them, you alone can deal with them
You do not have to make this fact a giant mystery novel or heroic escapade like 'you are being asked to lead yourself through the contents of what fear does to your own internals plus the moving through the energy and memories associated with the vibe to then return home to normal having achieved something that's needed but not desired.'
It is not absurd to trust your feelings and emotions and know that this alone is enough.
But most of us have learned many untruthful things attached to this idea that because it was not enough that time in the past
it means you have to repeat the coping mechanism or resolution strategy you learned that one time.
Unfortunately re-education is not some simple program you upload into yourself and move on with because you know better.
Processing can seem mind-numbing, or a bit like an offhanded joke, which emerges from the view 'that this shouldn't be how things are'
plus a 'godsource shouldn't allow this' and then a kind of 'maybe, this life is just quite a bit more different then you have thought'
Altogether you are not alone.
each one of us, even without a single instance of violence or wounding, has grown used to some perspectives
that exist as a representation of truth
but which require copious amounts of energy to maintain
These views continue to persist because they offer gifts ie they make you feel like:
'I have more control, an enhanced ability to change, a clear sense of knowing, adequate intelligence to uncover any illusions and deceptions.'
whatever the reward is, a view that is not true cannot be allowed to continue
and it is not up to you to decide all of this, your own inner being and higher self co-create with you
to help you see-feel, understand, and dissolve or dismantle the crazy soup of experiences
that were at some time impossible to understand or process differently.
The views elicit an idea of a tradeoff that to support the views or uphold such beliefs or ideals is to extend a 'good' feeling-sense
but then they may also extend that in order to feel these things you have to 'be precise, be aware, be vigilant, work at differentiating energies, hold neutral, recenter when there is imbalance etc'
My point is that there is a long lines of good intentions and wisdoms
but that these things when valued above or beyond merely a guiding principle
become a burdensome suggestion or command
which can act to significantly limit your own freedom, and this is not coming from an external whatsoever
it does not even emerge with negativity, it is merely good advice
which may have become an attachment, or need, in multiple ways that supports your sense of doing the right thing
Underneath this all
there is an inner self,
often an inner child,
that is exhausted and feels
saddened
{and sometimes either manipulated or betrayed by being of service to it}
since life does not have to have rules, we do not need a secondary control system to counteract external influence or controlling forces
but boy oh, the ego self does
and it is not that simple or easy to unlearn some of these dependencies
Obviously coming to terms with the fact that these views themselves are the biggest part of change
that's typically needed
not by godsource or circumstance
but because when you become aware of this ludicrous idealism, virtue-living, religiousity or spiritualization
which in this sense means the virtuous responses, the good behavior, the best way
can become a tremendously weighty thing a required adherence to such things
like an unerring system. But even then there is a light within the tunnel so to speak
because that its telling you, you have had a difficult parent at some time
which has replace that authentic father of mother presence
and can be extracted or seen for what it is, a relic which guided
but which was not kind to you, which did not nourish your soul
and deliver a support that included love, acceptance, and letting go.
So many of us do have areas of machine-like learning or a strategy approach to life circumstances
that purports to be a good response, or imposters the authentic
but which exists as an obstruction to every freely loving, giving, abundantly present thing you can and do feel
when you take things as they are and aren't enmeshed in these patterns of trying
As I say knowing you don't know things, and that you don't react or respond well in many ways, nor do you need to remembering that
No person needs to justify their existence or choices to another person or really needs to care what other people think of them.
Overall, during challenging times you will probably wish that you had
the courage and fortitude to just sit with the crappy sense of things
and let it dissipate without making any change
unless that change comes about through patient observation and authentically motivation
but the reality beneath this idea
is that it is not easy to be brave
when you are confused, think you might be making a mistake, or making this whole scenario up in some way
and you are forgiven, and loved exactly as you are already.
So there has to be a consolidation of thinking-feeling states that does not involve control, does not require clarity, cannot survive in compartmentalisation
being natural is possible despite that we may have learned to overlay a variety of processes upon it
observing with patience, listening, and trusting these are effective regardless of beliefs
whatever else is thought or felt to be going on
it is a process.
which only seems like unlearning or relearning things
until a deeper acceptance and self-love occurs.
It is a strange kind of difficulty but it is also easy since whenever there is enough disengaging
the sense of freedom, openness, and ease arise effortlessly
Letting go, letting the fear or darkness be what it is
is always the intention
whether it is known or not, you may fixated on only holding space to know what your own heart feels about the emergent object-feeling
and then just going about doing your thing, following what resonates and attending to what emerges from your relationship
rather than things that sometimes appear to emerge and blame or try to make you think you are responsible for them.
Not doing, sitting without meditating or trying to change anything, relaxing
these acts are all conserving and also unveiling
an abundance you may have temporarily forgotten how to register
and be grateful for
but in dropping the conditions
wow life just pops doesn't it?
The difficulties and patterns are par for the course,
these stages and states happen and cannot be controlled or mastered
but we can participate with our self and learn how to navigate our experiences
when its undertaken with a bit of willingness to listen or form another view
then there is a fluidity that present that allows you to work with layers of self
in which you can speak your truths feel what you feel about them and then move on or more forward with more grace and benevolence.
May you know firmly
that kindness and compassion
can heal obstructions beyond measure.
May the true Father and Mother arrive in every space that has unveiled
May the beloved parent be with you, within, and as
your own loving tenderness to your processes
in all the stages and states of this your
sacred life.
